ITS NOT JUST A WORD SAYANGG

well , this is my honneybunny, Mr. Muhammad Nur Syawal Bin Idris. was together since march 11, 2011. our relationship is something that we didn't expect. knowing him since in secondary school. tapi xpernah bertegur. tuesyen together. i do know him but kalo untuk menegur mamat nie mmg tak lah. haha. HOTSTUFF i can say. euuw. haha. mula bertegur when i was 19 that time. invite him to my open house. with an attention to be friend. mase tu pon i already ade someone so do him. so then ade lah no masing2. dekat fb pon ade lah bertegur. i cant remember how kitorang boleh baik sampai boleh ajak lepak sume. lepak dataran, tgk movie ect. im enjoying myself. tapi bukan kitorang keluar bedua lah. dgn kawan2. but during that time i already broke up with my ex. and on the same time dye pon single. wat a coincidence ! haha. sampai lah satu hari. i felt somthing towards him. after watching movie mase tu. i think i like him mase tuh. haha. dont know why. mase tu he felt nothing kot. dont care lah. tah ape punce nye dye tunjuk msg girlfriend dye to me. dont know why. i cant remember what the text is. but it seems that ex dye nk kat dye balik. so i give him an advice. i ckp, why dont u go back to her. padehal i kindda like him already that time. and he says that he wont turn back to that girl. so i was like, umph, okayy. i just leave it there lah. one day he wrote something at his wall. its about a girl. so im wondering who ? so i ask him. kitorang sgt jarang bercontact eh. but lantak lah. i just wanna know who. at first he say that girl was me. i was terribly shock ! i ask him to be frank, than he change his answer. he say that its for his ex. i was like, ouwwh. okayy. so i start to put my feeling away. he say that he got something to tell me, but i was to early to said. i start wondering why. byk kali i try to get away from him, but he kindda asking a lot of question. i can still remember i was texting him on one night, mase tu dye kat kl. kerja. dye duduk atas kereta n nangis sbb dye kate he is thinking about his life. how cute ! haha. so what ever lah kn, on one fine day, mlm tu im gonna have pilihan raya untuk board fakulti. so i text him just wanna have a talk with him. i suddenly i ckp " syawal, ak ade bende nk ckp kat hg" the same word that dye penah bagi dulu. he ask " ape dye". i ckp "aa. ak rase masih terlalu awl utk ak bg tawu hg" the same word yg dye bagi jugak. than he say " dah la nad, ak tawu hg nk ckp ape" i was like , shittttt ! haha. feeling like screaming at the top of my heart. haha. i said " ape dye " he reply " ak tawu lah nad. ak pon rase yg same" hahahahahahahaa. fucking sick ! maluuu. than i cant remember mcm mane. dr berckp ak hg, terus bertukar i u. haha. how sweet. there is a lot of thing happen in between. kitorang xde lah teros couple. so macam-macam lah jadi in between. susah mmg sgt susah. but some how we manage to go tru all the trouble alhamdulillah. so one day, it was my faculty dinner. i invite him, nazzy and unte to go to my dinner. nk di pendekkan ceritan yang panjang, mase ending of the dinner tu, he PROPOSE me ! gosh ! and i cried ! he gave me flower which i still have it with me. how sweet this guy is undiscrible. again, im feeling like im gonna scream at the top of my heart. he said " nad, will you be mine" and i say " yes i do" goshhh ! that was on 11th march 2011. day to remember. today, our relationship is 1 month  1 week and 2 days old J . kalo nk ckp pasal gadoh tu perkara biase lah. tadi pon sebelom dye hantar i balik pon gado jugak. tp dalam kereta ok dah walaupon mula-mula tak berckp. the best thing is for this week mase celebrate birthday dye. i bring him to a dinner kat Casuarina. gave him a pen which got his name on it. i am so fucking happy so see him smile J he was like so happy that time. he even say that tu lah kali pertama org celebrate birthday dye macam tu. i am so proud to be the first one b J and the second best story for this week is, i introduce him to mama. walaupon tak berjumpe lagi but now mama tawu with who im dating with. and mama pon macam ok. fyi, in this family, nie lah first time kenal kn bf kat mama. he is the first one. i just hope that this relationship can remain forever. i hope that he is serious with me and know his responsibility towards me. for now, im happy with him. gtg, im so sleepy. nk stdy tommorow. daaa ! 
     20 ‎April ‎2011;03:44:13

THIS IS NOT JUST A WORD , ITS A MEMORY .

AND THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN DOIN , A DAY WITHOUT YOU :')

*ni i buat , kt bukit :)

*selit skit sorang picture sesat =.='

:'(

mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku

mengagumi tanpa di cintai

tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia

dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu

telah lama kupendam perasaan itu

menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku

tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah 

bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu

meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku

dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya

dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja

tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya

dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja

Duka Dan Suka

Tak tipu , banyak pancaroba yang berlaku sejak akhir- akhir ni , 

Banyak dugaan , 

Hidup , cinta , rakan-rakan , 

Ternyata semuanya berlaku atas sebab-sebab tertentu , 

Cuma bagaimana untuk mengatasi dan menyelesaikannya , 

Perhubungan , pergaduhan , perpisahan ,

Semuanya sering berlaku kebelakangan ini , 

Aku , belum cukup kuat untuk memikirkan semua nya sekali gus ,

Tetapi , bukan untuk berbangga , 

Aku cuba untuk menyelesaikan tanpa ada perpisahan yang menyakitkan ,

Perbuatan , boleh dijangka , tetapi 

Hati ? fikirkan lah . sayang untuk selamanya dan bukannya sementara ,

Ia mengambil masa , ya , mengambil masa . 

Aku perlu pulih , aku perlu kuat , 

Untuk menjadikan semuanya baik seperti sedia kala . 

Tidak ada guna berdiam diri ,

Tidak ada guna hanya menyepi , 

Apa yang rasa perlu diluahkan.

Hidup , kita tidak tahu bila kita akan mati , 

Tetapi bila terjadi , barulah rasa orang yang hilang itu perlu dihargai .

privacy

i have no privacy anymore 

sigh

Kederat tulang empat kerat semakin lemah ,
Semakin tidak bermaya untuk menghadapi hari hari yg kian merunsingkan ,
Tidak kuat seperti dulu ,
Berfikir juga tidak seperti dulu ,
Hanya meneruskan saki baki kehidupan dengan hanya 'menempuh' .
Sampai bilakah aku dapat kekuatan untuk meneruskan hidup secara normal ,
Sedih , pedih , penat .
Kekuatan kini hanya berlandaskan teman hidup ,
Ya , dia teman hidupku , semangat ku .
Dia lah kawan , pendengar terbaik .
Segalanya ,
Cuma , aku rindukan diriku yang dahulu ,
Di mana aku membuat keputusan ,
UNTUK DIRIKU .

Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you. 

MUHAMMAD ALI

aku ingin menjadi seperti mereka .

kenapa aku ckp mcm tu ?
sebab aku mmg nk jadi mcm mereka ,
siapa ?
inilah dia ,
http://jangguttouch.com .
photography terkenal di ipoh skrg ,
aku hanya melihat gambar2 yg ditangkap olehnya ,
sambil menyelitkan jariku dan berharap agar impian aku untuk menjadi photographer tercapai ,
ditambahkan lagi dengan junior jangguttouch yang merupakan rakan aku semasa di zaman persekolahan dulu ,
http://www.muizjamaluddin.blogspot.com/
gambar gambar mereka semakin menjadi gilaan ramai .
minat aku kepada photography semaka\in membuak buak ,
aku akan cuba meyakinkan diri ku bahawa satu hari nanti aku akan menjadi seperti mereka ,
aku akan usaha kan .

Dear god , thx for givin me a beautiful butterfly .

saya akan cuba berubah untuk kita , 

maafkan segala salah silap saya dahulu , 

harap ini dijadikan permulaan untuk kita terus bersama :)